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UCAS Personal Statement


At my secondary school I was on the Gifted and Exceptionally Able Students register at my secondary school for exceptional abilities with Information Technology. I was also on the Fast Track programme at my secondary school for accelerated learning.

In my spare time I was involved with the planning, filming, production and editing of many short films and documentaries created by various students for their coursework.

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I unexpectedly had my A-level courses terminated, resulting in me not fulfilling my potential at this stage of my education. Leaving education at this early stage was not part of my long-term plans, as I had originally planned to take a degree majoring in Computer Science at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) after completing my A-levels.

Having been diagnosed with dyspraxia from an early age, I’ve had to overcome additional learning difficulties, exacerbated by lack of support from my local education authority.

I have chosen to do the foundation degree at Durham because it is the next logical towards my IT-related career aims. This course seems to be a more well-rounded and flexible course, compared to the rigid and conformant GCE/VCE A-level system. I like the idea that I have more flexibility to change my educational goals with the foundation course that I would not have with A-levels.

My next step after completing the foundation degree would be to do a Software Engineering or Computer Science degree at Durham. After that, I could progress to do a postgraduate degree in Software Engineering or Computer Science, or alternatively progress into the workplace.

I consider myself fully dedicated to providing fast, intuitive and effective applications for a fast-paced, modern, interconnected working environment.

I have three years previous professional experience as a network administrator for a web hosting company, and two years previous professional experience as a software developer for an outsourcing company.

In my spare time outside of work and education, I run a popular online journaling community website reaching just over one million hits a month, and do sound and lighting engineering for a local amateur theatre group.


Comments? Suggestions?

Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
kickupthefire
May. 3rd, 2004 09:45 am (UTC)
its good but if you are applying to durham with this personal statement it should say you hope to study there instead of just assuming, it sounds better ;)
lisy_babe
May. 3rd, 2004 09:52 am (UTC)
At my secondary school I was on the Gifted and Exceptionally Able Students register at my secondary school for exceptional abilities with Information Technology.

This is too repetitive. You're basically saying the same sentence twice over. It needs to look more like "At my secondary school I was on the Gifted and Exceptionally Able Students register for my exceptional abilities with Information Technology"

I was also on the Fast Track programme at my secondary school for accelerated learning.

Again, if you want to use this, you need to find some way of removing/replacing the words "secondary school" because of the repetition.

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I unexpectedly had my A-level courses terminated, resulting in me not fulfilling my potential at this stage of my education. Leaving education at this early stage was not part of my long-term plans, as I had originally planned to take a degree majoring in Computer Science at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) after completing my A-levels.

Telling them that they are your second choice and you'd rather be someplace else will not make them think highly of you!

Having been diagnosed with dyspraxia from an early age, I’ve had to overcome additional learning difficulties, exacerbated by lack of support from my local education authority.

I hate the word "overcoming" it's so negative and disablist. And it's not very descriptive. Tell them about how your disability has been an advantage, like you've always had to show creatvitity and problem solving skills because you received no support, and because of those skills you managed to compete on an equal playing field.

I have chosen to do the foundation degree at Durham because it is the next logical towards my IT-related career aims.

Just like they won't want to hear that you'd rather be somewhere else, they don't want to hear that you only want to go there because it seems like it's the logical thing to do. They want to know why you want to be there - that's going to reassure them that you're not going to drop out.

I have three years previous professional experience as a network administrator for a web hosting company, and two years previous professional experience as a software developer for an outsourcing company.

They're gonna wanna hear more about what it was you were doing in those jobs, and not just that you had them. They're going to want to know more specifics about the skills you have already to know why you're right for this course. Most importantly they're going to want to know what you learned from those experiences to know that you've got a commitment to learning new things.

In my spare time outside of work and education, I run a popular online journaling community website reaching just over one million hits a month, and do sound and lighting engineering for a local amateur theatre group.

For cohesion you might want to link this and the previous "in my spare time" (the one about helping with short films) paragraph together, but that's your call. You might also want to mention the name of the website, so it seems less abstract and more real.

Hope my points are useful! Good luck!
ucanttameme
May. 3rd, 2004 04:14 pm (UTC)
I know how much of a struggle writing a good personal statement is so I re-wrote yours up for you- hope it helps! Mine helped me get into some great unis, hope yours does too!

My motivation to study computer science extends further than my basic interest in technology. For me computing, both innovative and exciting, is a profession offering unlimited boundaries. Computing changed from being more than a hobby when I started my A-Levels.

Although I was diagnosed with Dyspraxia from an early age, I was able to succeed on the Fast Track programme for accelerated learning, and the Gifted and the Exceptionally Able Students register for talent with information technology at my secondary school without any support from my local education authority. Although I’ve had to work much harder to achieve my goals, this has helped me to become a focused and determined student.

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I unexpectedly had my A-level courses terminated, resulting in me not fulfilling my potential at this stage of my education. Although leaving education at this early stage was not part of my long-term plans, it has enabled me to have some time to mature and apply my existing knowledge in information technology to a practical work environment.

I now have three years of professional experience as a network administrator for a web hosting company, and two years experience as a software developer for an outsourcing company. YOU MIGHT WANT TO ADD SOME INFORMATION ABOUT TPATICULAR AREAS OF IT YOU NOW HAVE KNOWLEDGE OF. I now feel completely sure that working in the fast paced and exciting IT industry is perfect for me, and want to expand on my knowledge by enrolling in a ____________ degree. (insert name of course!) I consider myself fully dedicated to providing fast, intuitive and effective applications for a fast-paced, modern, interconnected working environment.

In my spare time outside of work and education, I run a popular online journaling community website _______ (insert name),reaching just over one million hits a month, and do sound and lighting engineering for a local amateur theatre group. I am also involved with the planning, filming, production and editing of many short films and documentaries.

Although I would not have passed on the last ____ (insert how many years you have not been in education!) years, I now realize the value that a degree affords in underpinning the foundations of computer technology. I believe I have grown in both confidence and maturity and if given the opportunity of a place at university, I will be fully committed to successfully completing a degree course.

idigital
Jun. 17th, 2004 11:10 am (UTC)
Wow. Do you mind if I use this?!
ucanttameme
Jun. 17th, 2004 01:39 pm (UTC)
Nope that's what I posted it for! Take what you want, Good luck!
deadstar_1
May. 3rd, 2004 05:50 pm (UTC)
i thinks its a bit too disjointed. You need to link every paragraph onto the next one. But cant complain with nething else.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )